You've Got Mail!
by Sailor Ghost
Summary: What happens when Duo gets his hands on one of those E-mail surveys? Besides mass chaos, I mean...(NON-yaoi and Exaggerated & kind of OOC for effect. Deal with it.) R&R pleasekudasai!!!!
1. Duo

  
From: Duo Maxwell (god_of_death@jokesonyou.com)  
To: Hiro Yuy (atomic_boy01@sigmundfreud.org), Wufei Chang (im_da_man@kissmyfeet.com), Quatre Winner (qrwinner@resourcesatellite.net), Trowa Barton (drawing_a_blank@whatever.com)  
CC:  
Re: FWD: SURVEY!!! FILL ME OUT NOW!!!   
  
  
sick of my forwards yet?? heh, heh!! This is only the beginning!!!  
  
~*Duo  
  
1. Full Name: Duo Maxwell  
2. Nickname: GOD OF DEATH!  
3. Age: 15  
4. Gender: male (and don't you forget it!)  
  
Section Two: Favorites   
  
1. Fave color black!!!   
2. Fave Band: any band that's NOT N*SYNC or Backstreet Boys  
3. Fave Song: "All Star" by Smashmouth (they wrote it for meeee ^^)  
4. Fave Movie: anything by Mel Brooks (he's SUCH a genius!)  
5. Fave Actor: Scott McNeal (he was so good in Ninja Turtles!!! He's my idol ^_^)  
6. Fave Actress: There's too many babes to choose from!!!   
7. Fave Food: anything with over a 50% volume of sugar  
8. Fave Drink: alcoholic: champagne...esp. after some epic series-ending battle!  
9. Fave Soft Drink: ANYTHING WITH CAFFEINE!!! AHAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAA!!!!!  
  
Section Three: LOVE LIFE   
  
1. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: not yet  
2. If so, who?   
3. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: i dunno  
4. Where do you want to spend your honeymoon? i dunno  
5. Do you have guy/girl problems right now?: i dunno  
  
Section Five: Future   
  
1. Husband/Wife: i don't think that far in advance!!!!  
2. Number of Children: *shrugs*  
3. How many of each sex: *shrugs*  
4. Name of possible guy: Duo Jr!!!!!!  
5. Name of possible girl: Duette!!!!  
6. Future Car: jet black corvette  
7. Future occupation: GOD OF DEATH!!!!! AHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Section Six: Random Questions   
  
1. If you could change your name, what would it be?: Shinigami Maxwell...you know..I may just get it changed this weekend!  
2. Shout outs to any friends: HI, HIRO, WUFEI, TROWA & QUATRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAVING FUN YET?????  
3. What are your best and worst qualities?   
Best: everything  
Worst: nothing..I'm the GOD OF DEATH!!!!!  
4. How far have you gone with a chick/guy? *blink* not applicable...  
5. What's your favortie color? Black!  
6. What's your favorite piece of clothing that you own? DUH!! I *ONLY* wear it every day!!!!!  
7. What celebrity would you love to meet? SCOTT MCNEAL!!!! HE'S SOOOOO COOOL!!!!  
8. Who do you like? no one  
Do they like you back? wouldn't that be kind of hard for no one to like you back?  
9. If you could kill one person without being punished who would it be? Wufei cuz he stole my Cheetoes that one time and never paid me back for it. NYAH!!!  
10. Coffee house or trendy club? both!!!!!!  
11.If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? are you implying that there's something WRONG with me?????? HMMMMM???? IS THAT IT???  
12. Have you ever done anything illegal, and what? ummmmm.......no comment.......  
13. Sneakers or bare feet? bare feet running through the grass  
14. Jacuzzi or swimming pool? jacuzzi!! Most definately jacuzzi!   
15. Beach or forest? beach to scope out babes!!!  
16. Vinyl pants or jeans? what's the matter with my black pants???  
17. Bath or shower? i like singing in the shower!! tis fun!!  
18. Cd or radio? CD cuz they have no commercials!  
19. Short or long hair? LONG HAIR!!! preferrably braided, of course ^_~  
20. Math or english? recess  
21. Would you rather be understood completely or loved unconditionally and why? could you please repeat the question??  
22. What's the most daring thing you've done? switched Hiro's Prozac for Mydol...my hand still hasn't healed...  
23. What kind of underwear do you wear, if any, and why? boxers with little skulls on 'em...but they kinda shrank in the wash. I think the water was too hot.  
24. Who has had the biggest influence on your life?: Scott McNeal...i've modeled my life after his!!!!!!!  
25. Everyone has at least one experiance where they stop and go "wow, this is what it feels like to be alive." If you don't get this, you haven't yet, if you have, what's yours? huh?  
26. Who is the person you most admire, and why? Scott McNeal....he's the man!!!!!  
27. What sign are you, and do you believe in astrology? Gemini...uh-uh  
28. What do you think is the worst thing a person could possibly do? steal my M&Ms!!!!!! WUFEI...YOU OWE ME FOR THAT TOO!!!! DON'T THINK I DIDN'T FORGET!!!!!!!!  
29. What religion are you and why? Catholic (I was raised in a church...DUH!!!!!)  
30. Do you have any reoccuring dreams, and what? Deathscythe brings about Apocalypse!!! AHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
31. What are you most afraid of? bugs...icky!!! i got some of those lovebug things stuck in Deathscythe's turbo boosters....DANG, THOSE THINGS ARE NASTY!!!!!  
32. What's the worst thing you've ever done? heh heh heh.....Hiro, I wouldn't open your fridge if I were you!  
33. What do you think is the sexiest thing a guy/girl could possibly do? she's just gotta be pretty  
34. What color are your eyes? dark blue  
35. What does your room look like? I can't see the floor..I can tell ya that much  
36. What's your obseesion(s)? I've been watching a lot of My Little Pony lately...  
37. If you had to be blind or deaf, but you could pick which, what would it be, and why? neither!!  
38. Who understands you the most? Scott McNeal..I believe we're spiritually connected somehow.....  
39. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? Hilde won't stop calling...  
40. What is the best thing in your life right now? Deathscythe and Scott McNeal  
42. What's your opinion on anorexia?: ask Hiro  
43. What's your opinion on love?: what's love??  
44. What's your address? 02 Shinigami Drive...in HADES!  
45. Tea, coffee, soda, juice, or water? whatever has caffeine  
46. Tofu or meat? EW!! I don't want that bean curd [explative]!! gimme the real stuff!!!!  
47. Dogs or cats? puppy!  
48. What do you sleep in? pajamas   
49. What do you look like this year, compared to 7th grade? *shrug*  
50. Do you Yahoo? only when extremely happy  
51. Do you think you're attractive?: yes I do!! gotta problem with that?   
52. Do you think you're a good person to be around?: yes i do!!  
53. What are your ambitions?: to clean all the cash outta my couch  
54. Are you happy or depressed?: HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!  
55. Favorite quote?: "Anyone who sees me's got a date with his maker!" ~yours truely ^~ I am SUCH a genuis!  
56. Last requests?: BRING ME MY SPOON!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Quatre

From: Quatre Raberba Winner Esq. (qrwinner@resourcesatellite.net)  
To: Trowa Barton (drawing_a_blank@whatever.com), Duo Maxwell (god_of_death@jokesonyou.com), Wufei Chang (im_da_man@kissmyfeet.com), Hiro Yuy (atomic_boy01@sigmundfreud.org)  
CC:  
RE: FWD: SURVEY!!! FILL ME OUT NOW!!!  
  
LOL...Duo that was funny ^^  
  
~Quatre  
  
From: Duo Maxwell (god_of_death@jokesonyou.com)  
To: Hiro Yuy (atomic_boy01@sigmundfreud.org), Wufei Chang (im_da_man@kissmyfeet.com), Quatre Winner (qrwinner@resourcesatellite.net), Trowa Barton (drawing_a_blank@whatever.com)  
CC:  
Re: FWD: SURVEY!!! FILL ME OUT NOW!!!   
  
  
sick of my forwards yet?? heh, heh!! This is only the beginning!!!  
  
~*Duo  
  
Forward reads as follows....  
  
1. Full Name: Quatre Raberba Winner  
2. Nickname: I don't have one  
3. Age: 15  
4. Gender: male   
  
Section Two: Favorites   
  
1. Fave color I think blue is a pretty color  
2. Fave Band: I prefer classical music, actually  
3. Fave Song: anything Beethoven!  
4. Fave Movie: Gone With the Wind  
5. Fave Actor: Clark Gable, Carey Grant  
6. Fave Actress: Judy Garland  
7. Fave Food: caviar  
8. Fave Drink: alcoholic: I don't drink, you guys know that!  
9. Fave Soft Drink: I don't drink much soft drinks...that's more of Duo's thing   
  
Section Three: LOVE LIFE   
  
1. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: no  
2. If so, who?   
3. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: someone really sweet ^^  
4. Where do you want to spend your honeymoon? wherever my wife wants to spend it  
5. Do you have guy/girl problems right now?: I have more important things to worry about than that  
  
Section Five: Future   
  
1. Husband/Wife: gee..I don't know..someone who's really sweet & nice & stuff  
2. Number of Children: it doesn't matter!  
3. How many of each sex: doesn't matter!  
4. Name of possible guy: hmmm...well...why not Quatre, Jr?  
5. Name of possible girl: Ami is a pretty name  
6. Future Car: Cadillac   
7. Future occupation: well, I inherited the colony from my father, so I guess I'll do that though it'd be really fun to join a local orchestra or something.  
  
Section Six: Random Questions   
  
1. If you could change your name, what would it be?: I like my name the way it is!  
2. Shout outs to any friends: Hi, everyone!! We have to do something together soon!  
3. What are your best and worst qualities?   
Best: well..not to gloat but I am pretty good at playing the violin!  
Worst: sometimes I can get frustrated...  
4. How far have you gone with a chick/guy? nothing at all...but that's a little too forward a question if you ask me.  
5. What's your favortie color? blue  
6. What's your favorite piece of clothing that you own? my khakis are really comfortable.  
7. What celebrity would you love to meet? umm...hmm..well I haven't been to the movies recently, so I really can't say  
8. Who do you like? no one at the moment  
Do they like you back? n/a  
9. If you could kill one person without being punished who would it be? no one...it's still wrong, even if you don't get punished.  
10. Coffee house or trendy club? it's fun to get a cup of tea at a coffee house and sit & read..so coffee house it is!  
11.If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? I'd try to understand people more  
12. Have you ever done anything illegal, and what? really...I'd rather not talk about it at the moment  
13. Sneakers or bare feet? sneakers  
14. Jacuzzi or swimming pool? When I have a lot of energy - pool. When I need to relax - jacuzzi.  
15. Beach or forest? forests aren't as crowded  
16. Vinyl pants or jeans? khakis!  
17. Bath or shower? shower  
18. Cd or radio? the classical station on L4 plays some pretty neat songs that haven't been released on CD yet  
19. Short or long hair? whatever floats your boat!  
20. Math or english? English - esp. writing!!  
21. Would you rather be understood completely or loved unconditionally and why? well...my sisters provide both - I'm really very lucky  
22. What's the most daring thing you've done? go against my passifist family's ideals and pilot Sandrock  
23. What kind of underwear do you wear, if any, and why? *blush* that's personal!!!!  
24. Who has had the biggest influence on your life?: My father, sisters, and Trowa..he's kinda like the big brother I never had  
25. Everyone has at least one experiance where they stop and go "wow, this is what it feels like to be alive." If you don't get this, you haven't yet, if you have, what's yours? well, just living to see another sunrise and there FINALLY being peace  
26. Who is the person you most admire, and why? I admired my father a whole lot cuz of what he did for the colonies   
27. What sign are you, and do you believe in astrology? I don't know my sign nor do I believe in astrology  
28. What do you think is the worst thing a person could possibly do? bring pain upon another person  
29. What religion are you and why?   
30. Do you have any reoccuring dreams, and what? I have recurring nightmares about the war...but I really don't wanna talk about it  
31. What are you most afraid of? war...it takes a toll on everyone  
32. What's the worst thing you've ever done? the time when I was in Wing Zero...  
33. What do you think is the sexiest thing a guy/girl could possibly do? sexiest?? well, my mind doesn't go there...  
34. What color are your eyes? blue  
35. What does your room look like? I like it...there's a desk, a few lamps and my bed (of course) and I have a really good view of the colony from my window  
36. What's your obseesion(s)? none  
37. If you had to be blind or deaf, but you could pick which, what would it be, and why? hmmm...this is pretty tough  
38. Who understands you the most? hmmm...my sisters cuz they see me the most  
39. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? getting over the war. I know it's hard for all of us especially (except Hiro..)  
40. What is the best thing in your life right now? getting to be with my family and friends back home  
42. What's your opinion on anorexia?: it's very sad..and I wish I could help  
43. What's your opinion on love?: it's really beautiful..I hope to find it one day!  
44. What's your address? which one?? my Earth address or my Colony address?  
45. Tea, coffee, soda, juice, or water? tea! I love tea!  
46. Tofu or meat? tofu  
47. Dogs or cats? both!  
48. What do you sleep in? these nifty flannel jammies (it's cold in space)  
49. What do you look like this year, compared to 7th grade? wow...um..seriously, I can't remember. Like myself, only shorter, I guess.  
50. Do you Yahoo? no..I have no time to download it!  
51. Do you think you're attractive?: ummmm....*blush* no..not really...  
52. Do you think you're a good person to be around?: I try to be!  
53. What are your ambitions?: to try and be the best colony leader I can be!!  
54. Are you happy or depressed?: I consider myself a happy person!  
55. Favorite quote?: "It's not what your country can do for you..it's what you can do for your country!" ~ I don't know who said it because It was said so long ago..but I think it applies to me a bit  
56. Last requests?: Hope to see you guys soon!!!!!  
  
  
  
  



	3. Wufei

From: WUFEI CHANG, ALL HAIL HIM!!! (im_da_man@kissmyfeet.com)  
To: Duo my court jester (god_of_death@jokesonyou.com), That guy who never talks (drawing_a_blank@whatever.com), My faithful subject Quatre (qrwinner@resourcesatellite.net), Hiro the town nutcase (atomic_boy01@sigmundfreud.org)  
CC:   
RE: FWD: SURVEY!!! FILL ME OUT NOW!!!  
  
these things are for sissies..but I got bored so oh well.  
  
~WUFEI THE KING OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!  
  
From: Duo Maxwell (god_of_death@jokesonyou.com)  
To: Hiro Yuy (atomic_boy01@sigmundfreud.org), Wufei Chang (im_da_man@kissmyfeet.com), Quatre Winner (qrwinner@resourcesatellite.net), Trowa Barton (drawing_a_blank@whatever.com)  
CC:  
Re: FWD: SURVEY!!! FILL ME OUT NOW!!!   
  
  
sick of my forwards yet?? heh, heh!! This is only the beginning!!!  
  
~*Duo  
  
Forward reads as follows....  
  
1. Full Name: Wufei Chang, King of the universe and everything in it!!!!  
2. Nickname: NICKNAMES ARE FOR SISSY BOYS!!!!!!  
3. Age: 15  
4. Gender: I'M ALLL MAN!!!!!!!  
  
Section Two: Favorites   
  
1. Fave color blood red...hee hee heeeee  
2. Fave Band: Metallica  
3. Fave Song: ANYTHING HEAVY METAL!!!!!!  
4. Fave Movie: The Matrix  
5. Fave Actor: Keanu Reeves (cuz he reminds me of me!!!!!)  
6. Fave Actress: WOMEN can't act!  
7. Fave Food: a big, manly half-raw steak slathered in Tabasco sauce!!!!  
8. Fave Drink: alcoholic: BEER!!! umm..not that I've ever had any....  
9. Fave Soft Drink: A HUGE WIDE-MOUTHED CAN OF MOUNTAIN DEW!!!!!!!  
  
Section Three: LOVE LIFE   
  
1. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: GOOD LORD NO!!!!!!!!!!   
2. If so, who?   
3. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? my TV and my truckload of masculinity!!  
4. Where do you want to spend your honeymoon? I DON'T WANNA GET MARRIED!!!!!!!!  
5. Do you have guy/girl problems right now?: Meiran....*sniff*  
  
Section Five: Future   
  
1. Husband/Wife: I still...I mean...I don't think...never mind  
2. Number of Children: none   
3. How many of each sex: none  
4. Name of possible guy: i don't want kids...  
5. Name of possible girl: don't talk to me...  
6. Future Car: Harley ^^  
7. Future occupation: PYROTECHNITION!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Section Six: Random Questions   
  
1. If you could change your name, what would it be?: Wufei Chang..International Man of Mystery...Wufei Chang..Man of the Century...Wufei Chang..KING OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!!  
2. Shout outs to any friends: nope.  
3. What are your best and worst qualities?   
Best: I'm so manly it hurts!!  
Worst: that Noin woman made a fool outta me!!!!!  
4. How far have you gone with a chick/guy? you guys forget that *I'VE* been married!! NYAH!!!!!  
5. What's your favortie color? blood red  
6. What's your favorite piece of clothing that you own? my bunny slippers..NOT!!!!   
7. What celebrity would you love to meet? who's to say *I'M* not a celebrity?  
8. Who do you like? Meiraaaaaan....  
Do they like you back? she DID before those bakas killed her...;_;  
9. If you could kill one person without being punished who would it be? ANYONE WHO DARES TO OPPOSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
10. Coffee house or trendy club? both are for artsy-fartsy fruits!  
11.If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? pfft. nothing!  
12. Have you ever done anything illegal, and what? so what if I have?? It was legitimate cuz of the war and all.   
13. Sneakers or bare feet? bunny slippers *_*....NOT!!! REALLY!!! NO BUNNY SLIPPERS FOR WUFEI!!!!!!  
14. Jacuzzi or swimming pool? swimming pool then running into the jacuzzi so I get that neato tight feeling  
15. Beach or forest? beach so everyone can marvel and be jealous over my rock-hard abs  
16. Vinyl pants or jeans? sweatpants  
17. Bath or shower? shower!!! BATHS ARE FOR WOMEN!!!!  
18. Cd or radio? CDs..when you're sick of em you can chuck em at your neighbor's yappy pet chiuahuah  
19. Short or long hair? short ponytail.....gotta problem with that??  
20. Math or english? PE  
21. Would you rather be understood completely or loved unconditionally and why? WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THIS?????  
22. What's the most daring thing you've done? pfft. everything!  
23. What kind of underwear do you wear, if any, and why? boxers..you'd never catch me in those pretty boy briefs!!!!  
24. Who has had the biggest influence on your life?: DUH!! Myself, of COURSE!  
25. Everyone has at least one experiance where they stop and go "wow, this is what it feels like to be alive." If you don't get this, you haven't yet, if you have, what's yours? every blow to someone else's head makes me feel warm & fuzzy inside  
26. Who is the person you most admire, and why? Myself....CUZ I'M DA MAN!!!!!!!!!  
27. What sign are you, and do you believe in astrology? only sissies believe in astrology.  
28. What do you think is the worst thing a person could possibly do? OPPOSE MY RULE!!!!!!!!!!  
29. What religion are you and why? umm...whever I was on L5....I forget  
30. Do you have any reoccuring dreams, and what? I don't dream  
31. What are you most afraid of? THE GREAT WUFEI FEARS NOTHING!!!!! NOTHING AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!  
32. What's the worst thing you've ever done? let all the WOMEN live  
33. What do you think is the sexiest thing a guy/girl could possibly do? pfft..no one can compare to me so why even try??  
34. What color are your eyes? i never really noticed....  
35. What does your room look like? NICE AND MANLY!!!!!!!!!!  
36. What's your obseesion(s)? I have no obsessions..that's Hiro's thing with his obsessive-compulsive disorder and the voices and stuff...  
37. If you had to be blind or deaf, but you could pick which, what would it be, and why? neither  
38. Who understands you the most? myself  
39. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? I'm not the king of the universe...yet!  
40. What is the best thing in your life right now? myself!  
42. What's your opinion on anorexia?: on what?  
43. What's your opinion on love?: *bites lower lip* ummm........considering NONE of you guys would know..it...um...is..pretty.....nice.....now get off this topic before i call Hiro over and have him set my computer on fire....  
44. What's your address? like I'd REALLY say  
45. Tea, coffee, soda, juice, or water? Gatorade  
46. Tofu or meat? tofu??...GAH, TOFU????!!!! GIMME A NICE, BLOODY HALF-RAW STEAK ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
47. Dogs or cats? rotweillers!  
48. What do you sleep in? my boxers and uhhh.....bunny slippers....  
49. What do you look like this year, compared to 7th grade? hmmm....I...uuhhh...ahh....wore glasses.....  
50. Do you Yahoo? I WOULD if Hiro hadn't deleted it after he had to use MY computer cuz he blew his up.   
51. Do you think you're attractive?: nope...I'm SEXY!!!  
52. Do you think you're a good person to be around?: DUH!!!!!  
53. What are your ambitions?: huh? ambitions?  
54. Are you happy or depressed?: uhhh..half and half...  
55. Favorite quote?: "Prepare to DIIIIE!!!!!' ~Princess Ayeka (my sister in law UU())  
56. Last requests?: this was a waste of time  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Trowa

From: T. Barton (drawing_a_blank@whatever.com)  
To: Duo (god_of_death@jokesonyou.com), Wufei (im_da_man@kissmyfeet.com), Quatre (qrwinner@resourcesatellite.net), Hiro (atomic_boy01@sigmundfreud.org)  
CC:   
RE: FWD: SURVEY!!! FILL ME OUT NOW!!!  
  
whatever...  
  
Trowa  
  
  
  
From: Duo Maxwell (god_of_death@jokesonyou.com)  
To: Hiro Yuy (atomic_boy01@sigmundfreud.org), Wufei Chang (im_da_man@kissmyfeet.com), Quatre Winner (qrwinner@resourcesatellite.net), Trowa Barton (drawing_a_blank@whatever.com)  
CC:  
Re: FWD: SURVEY!!! FILL ME OUT NOW!!!   
  
  
sick of my forwards yet?? heh, heh!! This is only the beginning!!!  
  
~*Duo  
  
Forward reads as follows....  
  
1. Full Name: would that be my biological name?? cuz I don't know it...  
2. Nickname: I guess you could count Trowa Barton as my nickname...  
3. Age: 15  
4. Gender: guy  
  
Section Two: Favorites   
  
1. Fave color .......red......i guess  
2. Fave Band: i don't listen to music that often....  
3. Fave Song: "Adam's Song" by Blink 182  
4. Fave Movie: ......The Haunting......  
5. Fave Actor: .....I dunno.....  
6. Fave Actress: .....I dunno.......  
7. Fave Food: calamari  
8. Fave Drink: alcoholic: i don't drink.....  
9. Fave Soft Drink: 7-up  
  
Section Three: LOVE LIFE   
  
1. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: i don't have one nor do I want one  
2. If so, who? 3. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? myself and ONLY myself  
4. Where do you want to spend your honeymoon? no where....I don't want to get married  
5. Do you have guy/girl problems right now?: nope..I don't meddle in love..it's pointless  
  
Section Five: Future   
  
1. Husband/Wife: i said i didn't want to get married  
2. Number of Children: none   
3. How many of each sex: none  
4. Name of possible guy:   
5. Name of possible girl:   
6. Future Car: Jeep  
7. Future occupation: well....I quit the circus....no hope for a career advancement there....I'm probably gonna go work for NASA......  
  
Section Six: Random Questions   
  
1. If you could change your name, what would it be?: I like Trowa......  
2. Shout outs to any friends: ...........no..........  
3. What are your best and worst qualities?   
Best: I don't know....  
Worst: this dead-end career.....  
4. How far have you gone with a chick/guy? Nowhere..I've never had a girlfriend.....and I don't really want one either....  
5. What's your favortie color? didn't you already ask this question??  
6. What's your favorite piece of clothing that you own? ....turtleneck...  
7. What celebrity would you love to meet? .....i don't know......  
8. Who do you like? no one  
Do they like you back? nope  
9. If you could kill one person without being punished who would it be? my baka sister....  
10. Coffee house or trendy club? staying home...though I could go for a cup of java right about now.....  
11.If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? ....i don't know.....  
12. Have you ever done anything illegal, and what? Ok, I'll admit it cuz we all know this.. I broke about 50 international laws during the war (driving without a license...attempted murder...planting a bomb..hacking....), I'm not afraid to face the truth...but I'm not too proud of it, either....  
13. Sneakers or bare feet? sneakers  
14. Jacuzzi or swimming pool? i find swimming very relaxing....  
15. Beach or forest? forest..it's quiet there and I can actually think in peace.....  
16. Vinyl pants or jeans? jeans......  
17. Bath or shower? shower  
18. Cd or radio? MP3 player  
19. Short or long hair? long in front, short in back....  
20. Math or english? ....both....  
21. Would you rather be understood completely or loved unconditionally and why? ......neither.......  
22. What's the most daring thing you've done? I got Hiro to set my clown pants on fire and I cussed Catharine out the other day.....  
23. What kind of underwear do you wear, if any, and why? boxers  
24. Who has had the biggest influence on your life?: no one....  
25. Everyone has at least one experiance where they stop and go "wow, this is what it feels like to be alive." If you don't get this, you haven't yet, if you have, what's yours? I guess I haven't  
26. Who is the person you most admire, and why? ...no one.....  
27. What sign are you, and do you believe in astrology? astrology is pointless....  
28. What do you think is the worst thing a person could possibly do? all depends on the person  
29. What religion are you and why? I'm Christian..I guess cuz that's what I was raised as & stuff...  
30. Do you have any reoccuring dreams, and what? nope  
31. What are you most afraid of? .......................my sister.....................  
32. What's the worst thing you've ever done? If I'll regret it, I won't do it.....  
33. What do you think is the sexiest thing a guy/girl could possibly do? I don't think about that kind of stuff.....  
34. What color are your eyes? emerald green, but for some reason they're also blue & amber in some lights...so I don't know.....  
35. What does your room look like? just a bunch of random objects strewn everywhere....  
36. What's your obseesion(s)? none..I try not to dabble in obsessive behavior..look how Hiro turned out......  
37. If you had to be blind or deaf, but you could pick which, what would it be, and why? neither  
38. Who understands you the most? myself...and somethimes I even doubt THAT....  
39. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? post traumatic stress and this fleeting suicidal stuff....plus I'm worried about Hiro.....  
40. What is the best thing in your life right now? i quit the baka circus  
42. What's your opinion on anorexia?: I blame society..this is a pretty depressing problem...  
43. What's your opinion on love?: It seriously has no point...it only distracts you from the IMPORTANT things in life...emotions mean nothing to me...  
44. What's your address? in the proces of moving..ask me later....  
45. Tea, coffee, soda, juice, or water? java with a little bit of cream   
46. Tofu or meat? both  
47. Dogs or cats? neither..i'm allergic to both of them   
48. What do you sleep in? a t-shirt & shorts  
49. What do you look like this year, compared to 7th grade? my bangs were a little shorter  
50. Do you Yahoo? it crashed my computer....  
51. Do you think you're attractive?: ......no.....  
52. Do you think you're a good person to be around?: no....  
53. What are your ambitions?: .....i don't know....  
54. Are you happy or depressed?: depressed and I really don't care...55. Favorite quote?: ......don't have one....  
56. Last requests?: Duo...these forwards clog my inbox....  
  
  
  



	5. Heero

***  
author's note: I used the Japanese spelling of Heero's name here  
***  
  
From: Hiro 8 D (atomic_boy01@sigmundfreud.org)  
To: guy #1(god_of_death@jokesonyou.com), guy #2 (im_da_man@kissmyfeet.com), guy #3 (qrwinner@resourcesatellite.net), guy #4 (drawing_a_blank@whatever.com)  
CC:   
RE: FWD: SURVEY!!! FILL ME OUT NOW!!!  
  
KABOOM!!!!!!!! AHAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(((x hIrO x)))  
  
  
  
From: Duo Maxwell (god_of_death@jokesonyou.com)  
To: Hiro Yuy (atomic_boy01@sigmundfreud.org), Wufei Chang (im_da_man@kissmyfeet.com), Quatre Winner (qrwinner@resourcesatellite.net), Trowa Barton (drawing_a_blank@whatever.com)  
CC:  
Re: FWD: SURVEY!!! FILL ME OUT NOW!!!   
  
  
sick of my forwards yet?? heh, heh!! This is only the beginning!!!  
  
~*Duo  
  
Forward reads as follows....  
  
1. Full Name: HIRO YUY!!!!!  
2. Nickname: HIRO YUY!!!!!  
3. Age: 15  
4. Gender: MAN!  
  
Section Two: Favorites   
  
1. Fave color BLOOD...GUTS!!!!!! AHAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!  
2. Fave Band: NEDDY AND THE NUCLEAR NUTCASES!!!!!!!  
3. Fave Song: "WHACK MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL UNTIL MY BRAINS LEAK OUT MY EARS" BY NEDDY AND THE NUCLEAR NUTCASES  
4. Fave Movie: ANYTHING WITH WAR!!! DEATH!!! APOCALYPSE!!!!! AHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
5. Fave Actor: QUENTIN TERANTINO!!!!!!!  
6. Fave Actress: THAT LADY THAT BLEW THAT THING UP IN THAT MOVIE....  
7. Fave Food: RAW PORK AND MEALWORMS!!!!!!!!  
8. Fave Drink: alcoholic: FLAMING MOE!!!!! (ESP THE SETTING IT ON FIRE PART!!!!!!)  
9. Fave Soft Drink: SUUUUURGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Section Three: LOVE LIFE   
  
1. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: EWWWW!!!! GIRLS HAVE COOTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
2. If so, who?   
3. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? THE VOICES!!!!!! THE VOICES!!!!!!!!  
4. Where do you want to spend your honeymoon? IN MY LIVING ROOM WATCHING CARTOONS  
5. Do you have guy/girl problems right now?: THIS UGLY WEIRD GIRL FOLLOWS ME AROUND ALL THE TIME AND SHE YAPS ABOUT PEACE......SO I THREATENED TO KILL HER AND SHE KEEPS FOLLOWING ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK SHE HAS NO BRAIN...  
  
Section Five: Future   
  
1. Husband/Wife: THE DAY I CAN MARRY MY STASH OF FIREWORKS WIL BE THE MOST MAGICAL DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!  
2. Number of Children:   
3. How many of each sex:   
4. Name of possible guy:   
5. Name of possible girl:   
6. Future Car: I WANNA DRIVE A HUMMER!!!!!!!! I SET THE AMBULANCE I HIJACKED ON FIRE.....  
7. Future occupation: I'M GONNA IMPORT ILLEGAL EXPLOSIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Section Six: Random Questions   
  
1. If you could change your name, what would it be?: RADIOACTIVE ISOTOPE BOY!!!!!!!!  
2. Shout outs to any friends: HELLO, PACK OF MATCHES!! HELLO, CHERRY BOMB!!!!!  
3. What are your best and worst qualities?   
Best: I'M PERFECT!!!!!!  
Worst: I'M PERFECT!!!!!!  
4. How far have you gone with a chick/guy? I THREATENED TO KILL THE WEIRD ANNOYING GIRL....  
5. What's your favortie color? OOZE!!! GUTS!!! SLIME!!!!!  
6. What's your favorite piece of clothing that you own? SPANDEX BIKE SHORTS!!!!!!!!!  
7. What celebrity would you love to meet? HIRO YUY!!!!!!!  
8. Who do you like? HIRO YUY!!!!!  
Do they like you back? HIRO YUY!!!!!!  
9. If you could kill one person without being punished who would it be? THAT ANNOYING PEACECRAFT LADY!!!!!!!!!!!  
10. Coffee house or trendy club? NEON LIGHTS!!!! NEON IS FLAMMABLE!!!!! AHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
11.If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? I WOULD CHARGE THE VOICES RENT BECAUSE THE PARTIES KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT....THEY PLAY THEIR MUSIC TOO LOUD!!!!!!!!  
12. Have you ever done anything illegal, and what? YES I HAVE!!!!! MATCHES AND FLAMMABLES AND PYROTECHNICS HAVE NEVER LET ME DOWN!!!!!!!! NOW IF I COULD JUST MAKE A HUMAN SACRIFICE OF MY STALKER LADY.....  
13. Sneakers or bare feet? COMBAT BOOTS!!!!!!!  
14. Jacuzzi or swimming pool? SCALDING HOT WATER THAT BURNS LIKE HADES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
15. Beach or forest? FOREST..ALL THAT LOVELY DEAD WOOD ITCHING TO BE BUUUUURNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
16. Vinyl pants or jeans? SPANDEX!!!! SPANDEX!!!!!  
17. Bath or shower? I BLEW MY BATHROOM UP BECAUSE I ENJOY WALLOWING IN MY OWN BODY ODOR!!!!!!!! IN FACT, I HAVEN'T CHANGED TANK TOPS FOR 2 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
18. Cd or radio? RADIO TUBE!!! JUST THE THING FOR MY...AHHHH..."ALARM CLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
19. Short or long hair? LONG HAIR IS MORE EASILY HACKED OFF BY STRAY PINKING SHEARS!!!!!!!!   
20. Math or english? PSYCHOLOGY!!! (DR. FREUD SAYS IT'S A GOOD IDEA FOR A SKITZOE LIKE ME TO LEARN IT!!!! WHAT'S A SKITZOE???)  
21. Would you rather be understood completely or loved unconditionally and why? WHAT???? WHAT'S LOVE?? IS IT RADIOACTIVE?????  
22. What's the most daring thing you've done? I BLEW UP MY COMPUTER AND TROWA'S CLOWN PANTS!!! TROWA GAVE ME A LOLLIPOP WITH A YUMMY MEALWORM IN IT FOR SETTING HIS PANTS ON FIRE. HE SAID IT WAS TEKEELA FLAVORED BUT I THINK IT TASTED LIKE THE TIME THE VOICES TOLD ME TO EAT OUT OF THE KITTY'S LITTERBOX.......  
23. What kind of underwear do you wear, if any, and why? DID YOU KNOW COTTON WAS FLAMMABLE??????  
24. Who has had the biggest influence on your life?: AND POLYESTER/LYCRA BLEND IS FLAMMABLE AS WELL????  
25. Everyone has at least one experiance where they stop and go "wow, this is what it feels like to be alive." If you don't get this, you haven't yet, if you have, what's yours? MATCHES!!! FIREWORKS!!!!! EXPLOSIVES!!!!!  
26. Who is the person you most admire, and why? MY INVISIBLE FRIEND BUBBLY-POO!!! HE SMELLS LIKE BACON!!!!!  
27. What sign are you, and do you believe in astrology? MY SIGN IS THIS: )))X IT'S A DEAD FISH!!!!!!!!!!!   
28. What do you think is the worst thing a person could possibly do? GET IN MY WAY!!!!!!!!  
29. What religion are you and why? HUH?  
30. Do you have any reoccuring dreams, and what? I DREAMED THAT I BLEW UP THE SANK KINGDOM AND THE UGLY ANNOYING GIRL CRIED AND I LAUGHED AND THEN DUO COMES AND HE'S WEARING AN APRON AND TELLS ME TO WATER HIS LAWN.....  
31. What are you most afraid of? THE PEOPLE THAT FOLLOW ME...  
32. What's the worst thing you've ever done? HUH??  
33. What do you think is the sexiest thing a guy/girl could possibly do? WHAT?  
34. What color are your eyes? I'M GONNA GET EM DYED BLOOD RED!!!!!!!!  
35. What does your room look like? TORCHED!!! BURNT!!!! ANHILIATED!!! WAR ZONE!!!! BLOOD!!!! TERROR!!!!!  
36. What's your obseesion(s)? I WOULD TELL YOU BUT DR. FREUD SAID THAT A PARUHNOIDE SKITZO WITH POST TRAWMATIC STRESS AND UBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISSORDUR LIKE ME SHOULD KEEP HIS PSYCHOLOGY RECORDS A SECRET.....  
37. If you had to be blind or deaf, but you could pick which, what would it be, and why? I SET TROWA'S CLOWN PANTS ON FIRE!!!!!!   
38. Who understands you the most? THE VOICES!!!! ESP. FRED & JOJO!!!!  
39. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? DUO CHANGED MY MEDICATION AND I ACTED LIKE A WOMAN FOR A FEW DAYS UNTIL TROWA WHACKED ME ON THE HEAD AND I WAS BACK TO MY NORMAL SELF. HE ALSO TOOK MY MATCHES AWAY AND MUMBLED SOMETHING THAT SOUNDED LIKE "DOCTOR'S MESSING WITH HIS ALREADY MESSED-UP HEAD" BUT I'M NOT TO SURE. I MISS MY MATCHES......  
40. What is the best thing in your life right now? THE VOICES!!!!! AND MY MATCHES!!! AND MY TNT!!!! AND MY HYDROCHLORIC ACID!!! AND MY SULFURIC ACID!!!!! AND GETTING TO SET TROWA'S CLOWN PANTS ON FIRE!!!!!!!!  
42. What's your opinion on anorexia?: FRED SAYS IT'S BAD.  
43. What's your opinion on love?: IS IT EXPLOSIVE???  
44. What's your address? I'D TELL YOU BUT THEN THAT UGLY STALKER GIRL WOULD KNOW WHERE I LIVE......  
45. Tea, coffee, soda, juice, or water? DR. FREUD SAYS FOR ME TO TAKE PROZAC WITH WATER.  
46. Tofu or meat? RAW PORK  
47. Dogs or cats? KITTY..BUT SHE'S MISSING PATCHES OF FUR FROM WHERE I SHAVED HER.....  
48. What do you sleep in? THE SAME CLOTHES I WEAR DURING THE DAY....  
49. What do you look like this year, compared to 7th grade? 7TH GRADE???   
50. Do you Yahoo? I USED IT ON WUFEI'S COMPUTER BUT I DELETED IT AND HE TURNED RED IN THE FACE AND CALLED ME A SYKO SO I BLEW UP HIS REFRIDGERATOR AND HE THREW ME OUT THE WINDOW.....  
51. Do you think you're attractive?: WHAT?  
52. Do you think you're a good person to be around?: THE VOICES SAY I AM!  
53. What are your ambitions?: AMBITIONS??? WHAT'RE THOSE?  
54. Are you happy or depressed?: I USED TO BE DEPRESSED AND I BLEW UP MY GUNDAM, BUT NOW I'M HAPPY CUZ OF DR. FREUD BEING SO GOOD TO ME!!!!!!!  
55. Favorite quote?:   
56. Last requests?: YES!!!!! I WROTE A VIRUS AND ATTACHED IT TOO THIS E-MAIL!!!! NOW ALL OF YOUR HARD DRIVES WILL BE DELETED!!!!!! AHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
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